As our world becomes more nuanced and diverse in terms of gender identity and representation, it is good practice to question our gendered language and why we use the terms we use, especially if those terms have been used to stereotype or restrict people on the basis of their perceived gender.

Thus, when I use the term “Feminine” Embodiment, I do so with some awareness and caution. “Feminine” is a word of immense history. Etymologically, it is an English adaptation from the latin femininus and femina, both of which were used to denote a woman or female or literally “she who suckles.” Unsurprisingly, we can trace the transmission of this word through Roman colonization of the old world, seeing where it was adopted by Old French and then transferred to Middle English and then, how it descended through the centuries to modern English. Though the latin association with suckling has been lost to everyone except those who frequent the Online Etymology Dictionary, the word “Feminine” and its derivatives have generally preserved that original meaning relating to human women and the ways human women are expected to present in society. Thus, it has often served as a synonym for words such as “pretty,” “soft,” or “delicate.”

The dark side of this history, though, is that “feminine” has also been used as a synonym for “weakness,” “passivity,” or “unmanly submissiveness.” Note the key undertones of disgust that often accompany these meanings, which illustrate the deep societal beliefs about how manly male-ness was not just different from, but morally and objectively superior to womanly female-ness. These lingual clues served and serve still as regular reminders for social groups to adhere to certain beliefs about women. These beliefs tell us to:

• commodify or objectify women’s bodies, legally control their sexuality or reproductive rights, and disrespect the inherent variation that guides women through a menstrual cycle
• devalue the work that women perform for their communities by limiting their access to income, land, and other resources
• reject–often violently–any associations or similarities between men and women, draw rigid lines between the social presentations of gender, and diminish the humanity of those who play at those edges

There are, of course, plentiful examples of these ideas in actions. Slut-shaming has been a prominent and effective way of silencing or disempowering women away from their bodily autonomy since the dark ages and “effeminate” –literally meaning “to make a woman out of”–has been a longstanding sneer to belittle and disempower men perceived as not conforming enough to social expectations. The language of misogyny curdles playground relations, too. It is sadly not uncommon to hear “girly” used as a playground insult between boys. In older circles, we see the patterns in homophobic and transphobic discourse, which is rooted in abhorrence of the feminine and pathologizes experiences that blur the lines of segregation between genders. Even in progressive groups, there tends to be a disturbing misogynistic distaste for traits or expressions that have traditionally been associated with women, such as nurturance. And, any attentive witness to current events, will also be familiar with the ways that body, mannerisms, or actions being labeled as “feminine” has been used almost exclusively as an insult in political, academic, or public settings. In other words, even as the gender, sexual, and equal rights revolutions unfold and we reach for more variety in our expression as humans, the changes are paradoxically framed by language that is full of contempt or dismissal for femininity.

[Aside: I am assuming, for the purposes of this writing, that the reader already feels the imbalance of this paradigm without a lengthy explanation as to why the feminine half of the energetic wheel is valuable. If further establishing of this fact is necessary or desired, I recommend diving into some of these resources.]

How do we treat wounds this deep? How do those of us in patriarchal, English-French-Latin etc speaking cultures break out of the tailspin of misogyny that comes prepackaged within our language? Let’s consider a first step: reappropriation.

Reappropriaiton is the art of decommissioning a word, name, or phrase from its patriarchal context, in which it has been weaponized in order to marginalize certain groups, and restoring it to a previous or deeper meaning of the word.

Reappropriaiton is the art of decommissioning a word, name, or phrase from its patriarchal context, in which it has been weaponized in order to marginalize certain groups, and restoring it to a previous or deeper meaning of the word.

Marginalized groups around the world, such as the Mayans within their various Spanish-speaking cultures, the North American First Nations within English-or-French-speaking North America, and the Irish within the English-speaking United Kingdom have all demonstrated this type of nonviolent revolution with language. And from these examples, there emerge two key ways that cultural reappropriation through language can occur:

1. A community or individual can reclaim or reappropriate names or places of their cultural and individual history by dropping the colonizer’s name and insisting on the use of the culturally-authentic name, instead. This approach involves extra education, as the new name is introduced and it can take a long time for the new name/s to stick. A significant advantage of this method, though, is the clean slate it offers for newcomers to the conversation. Instead of belaboring the history of oppression involved in recontextualizing the language, the new words or names give the conversation a new place to begin–and often that means the individual, group, or object is better framed by their context, too.
2. Reappropriation can occur when a previously-derogatory word is repeatedly reframed within a sincere, respectful context by those whom it was originally meant to diminish. This approach can cause more social friction because the new, reclaimed meaning of the word can bump into common usage of the old derogatory meaning of the word and this can be awkward for all parties. However, by using a word that is already familiar to the broader culture, reappropriating key words for use in respectful discourse can have a deep and far-reaching effect on changing the attitudes of a larger community because reclaiming the word linguistically also challenges the established history of abuse and requires speakers of the language to reevaluate heritage biases or assumptions that they may have absorbed subconsciously alongside the derogatory use of the word.

Both types of reappropriation are happening for ancient languages and cultures that still have representation in the modern world. And, this is an incredibly valuable and necessary endeavor for fostering cultural diversity and our collective ability to think in different ways (let’s talk more about that in another post). However, the effort of reclaiming old cultures does not stop with marginalized racial, ethnic, or national minorities. It also includes a broader revival of repressed and oppressed feminine culture–as represented by human women within any national context as well as by men who engage with feminine attributes or activities, and also by animals, the seasons, and Mother Nature herself. Reclaiming the word “feminine” to mean not just “soft” and “sensitive,” but also “magnetic,” “fierce,” and “challenging,” does more than connect us to the ancient archetypes of Feminine power–it rebalances our lopsided global and interpersonal discourse. It opens the way for death of fallible systems and the birth of new solutions to come into play. These are the inherent gifts of the Feminine Energy: to light the sacred fire of change, to decompose the old, to birth something new, to experiment and diversify the options, to nurture the whole. These are gifts that our violent, parched, calculating, anxious masculine world is hungry for– desperate for. But before much of that work can take place, the essential misogyny in the heart of the language must be deactivated, so that we can reestablish the value of those profound cyclical energies.

When the word “feminine” comes up on this site, I am using it in the context of Cultural Reappropriation. “Feminine,” when used here is not a segregation of genders nor an invitation to go back into a violent misogynistic worldview. Rather, it denotes the energetic opposite to “the masculine,” as a balancing polarity that exists within every being. To be even more specific: “Feminine Embodiment” is not exclusive to women. It is an invitation for every unique body to remember their inherent wholeness by reclaiming access to parts of themselves that have been orphaned and negated by our larger societies. A biologically female body is not a prerequisite to reawakening or deepening your access to Feminine energy.

With that said, it is worth pointing out that women’s bodies do illustrate essential and beautiful aspects of what the Feminine Energy offers our world and our psyches and female bodies provide an accessible window into the energetic features of “the Feminine.” Thus, in learning to reclaim value in the Feminine, you should expect to deconstruct some of the internalized misogyny towards human women’s bodies and may find that your own empathy for or recognition of women’s experiences changes, too. So, if you notice some friction with these terms or even feel frustration at the use of this terminology, I invite you to play at that edge. What do these words bring up for you? Why does the word “feminine” or one of its derivatives cause discomfort? Does it have to be that way? What would it be like to live without stigma for these words?

Wherever you are on your journey of feminine reappropriation, I’m sending you great support and encouragement for reclaiming respect for the language, bodies, and beliefs that soften, heal, nuance, and sensitize the world. It is important work for rebalancing our global communities, but even more fundamentally, it is a deeply fulfilling way to come alive to our own experience.